2023, Please Be a Bit Nicer to Us.
Ernest Hemingway said, “The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for.” …2023, please prove it.
I survived 2022, but never felt so close to death.
It was the fifth year since my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I remember her doctor got me out on the day and said, “She has about six months.” Death is the invisible elf in our house ever since. She got relapsed twice and was sent to the ER twice in 2022. Being on the third line of treatment, she has no more medicine to tend to from here. 2022 was another miracle for her. It was a race, too, tensed up by the footsteps of death from behind.
My dad had a stroke, followed by major heart surgery. My mom got worse with her hearing loss every day and turned more and more self-isolated. I kept shouting to her, “Don’t let go, mom! You promised to go back with me to visit the town where I grew up!”
In 2022, the little elf still hid but was flying everywhere. It felt so close. I could feel the wave of the wings. After 2022, if one day he really showed up to my face, I would see it with a whole new feeling. More calmness rather than fear, more acceptance rather than resistance, more gratitude rather than hatred. I know it is a process. But 2022 turns out to be a turning year for me to see…
