From a care receiver to a care giver

— Mom, I miss you soooo much……mothers are the strongest species on this planet.

I called my mom on Mother’s Day to say Happy Mother’s Day. She told me, “Your dad might need an Atrial Fibrillation operation. It’s a kind of heart surgery. The doctor said he can take medicine as a conservative treatment. But I have decided to take him to the big city to have the surgery.” Her voice was so calm. But I almost cried out, I knew, the girl that used to be a care receiver has become a care giver.

For about six years, my parents and my family lived about two miles apart. My family and my brother’s came to visit them every Saturday, they made a big lunch banquet for us. They lived a kind of frugal life themselves, but the Saturday lunch was an extravagant feast. They started the preparation from Thursday, got up very early on Saturday morning to buy the fresh food. When sometimes I called my mom that we were not able to come for the Saturday lunch, I could feel the sigh and disappointment in her voice.

I didn’t have frequent conversations with my mom until I moved to the U.S. Now I talked to her at least once per week. We set up the calling time at Monday night my time, or Tuesday noontime at her side. She insists on that time because it’s my Friday night. The more I talked to her, the more I feel guilty myself. We used to live so close but…