Our life is full of goals, from the big ones like become an Olympic championship, write a book, or start a business, down to small ones like quit smoking, lose weight, or become a better speaker. Life hacks for hitting the goals is one of the biggest genres in the book store and social media. This summer vacation, I read a book called “Atomic Habits”. I was hit like never before. It uses the word “atomic” to tell that good habits, though oftentimes they are pretty small, over time could drive us infinitely close to our goals.
Reading through the book, I see a clear line of habit formation through my journey of Toastmasters. I heard Toastmasters totally by accident. When they said Toastmasters helps people fight the fear of public speaking, I was intrigued by the cue — that was exactly my fear. I joined some meetings and witnessed how people fight –no bloodshed but rather easy and fun. Then I had the craving of giving my own speech. I keep coming and keep giving speeches. Now the fear is fading away, the communication skills are building up, and more importantly, I have made many friends with the same goals. Now I spend 4–5 hours every week preparing my speeches or working on club management. I cut cell phone and TV time a lot to work on Toastmasters. Clearly, Toastmasters has become one of my life-changing habits.
This formation process is a cycle known as “The Habit Loop”. It has four steps: cue, craving, response, and reward. In practice, the cure triggers a craving, which motivates a response, which over time provides a reward. Then the reward goes on to satisfy the craving that is associated with the cue. We never stop having new cues and cravings, so the habit loop goes on forever. I am really fascinated by this idea. While building my Toastmasters habit, I have been through many specific moments. This habit loop concept, along with a variety of practical strategies in the book, would have helped me overcome the obstacles more effectively. Here are some of the moments.
First, don’t expect much progress from one single meeting. Becoming a better public speaker is exactly a habit loop and your task is keeping it going. So don’t set a strong goal for every single meeting, but don’t get loose, either, if what you are doing at this meeting is no different from the last. Sometimes I feel a bit low after a meeting as it seems I didn’t learn much, until one day I am thrilled noticing that I am speaking much smoother than a month ago. As the saying goes, you take care of time, time will take care of you.
Second, every meeting counts. This seems to counter the previous point that we should expect little to no change in one meeting. But it’s true as much because the loop can’t be broken. The same way that money multiplies through compound interest, the effects of meetings multiply as we keep attending them.
Third, quantity is bigger than quality. The book shows a study in a photography class. The teacher asks a group of students to make one hundred photos by each at a certain time. So they must be quick. Meanwhile, another group of students is asked to make one photo by each in the same time span. So they must be perfect. In the end, most of the best photos come from the quick group not the perfect one. This makes perfect sense to guide my Toastmasters practice. I have stopped trying to make a perfect “Martin Luther King” speech at every meeting, but I won’t let go for any chance to speak in front of the audience.
Last but not the least, combine with other habits. Being stuck to one goal can be tiring that we could lose the motive. Sometimes we can refuel our energy by telling ourselves like, while I am practicing speeches, I will improve my writing skills and thinking process; while I am working as a club officer I will improve leadership and communication skills. Good habits are never overwhelming, and you are never overwhelmed if you don’t put all energy into one goal.
Find your own atomic habits, let the effects compound.
